Rainbow Laces

Ramsdale: Challenges my brother has had are incredibly tough

29 Nov 2024

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Southampton 'keeper on how everyone can play a part in building a more inclusive society and challenges faced by his brother Oliver when he came out as gay

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As part of the Rainbow Laces campaign, Southampton and England goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale speaks about how everyone can play a part in building a more inclusive society and the challenges faced by his older brother Oliver, when he came out as gay.

In the spotlight as a Premier League footballer, Aaron Ramsdale knows all about the highs and lows of winning, and how social media can enable bullying and hate speech when things aren't going so well.

But it's the everyday discrimination targeted at the LGBTQ+ community that personally hurts the former Arsenal goalkeeper, whose older brother Oliver is gay.

“It's important for me to speak up," says Ramsdale, speaking as Premier League clubs come together between 29 November-5 December to celebrate Stonewall's 2024/25 Rainbow Laces campaign, showing support for all LGBT+ people in football and beyond.

"I think one of the main reasons for speaking out (initially in an interview with the Players Tribune in 2023) was probably the stuff you see online, or what he has to go through more than anything of what gets said around me. Having a brother who's come out as gay doesn't mean I'm the only one who has to speak out.

"I still get my challenges, and still get ups and downs. You get the sort of backlash from supporters, criticism etc which comes with the job, which is always difficult, but I haven't had to lie or try and hide or feel excluded by things.

“The challenges which my middle brother Oliver has had, throughout his life having to hide things from people, family members about his sexuality is incredibly tough."

Ramsdale admits that when Oliver first told his family that he was gay, he was only a young boy himself at the time and didn't grasp the enormity of his older brother's bravery.

Ramsdale brothers
Aaron Ramsdale, far right, with older brothers Edward, far left, and Oliver, middle

"When he first came out, I was probably too young - there’s a seven-year age difference - so I probably didn't understand the meaning or what it took for him to make that decision and speak out," explains Ramsdale.

"Definitely as time's gone by in the past few years, I wanted to be there for him, talk about things. At the end of the day, he's my brother, I love him, so, I'm going to be there for him, but I wanted to have an understanding as well.

"It's important for me to speak up. I think it just came to a point where, if I felt like there was something was being said and I didn't agree with, I'd rather than sitting back, I wanted to be more like him, and have the bravery to say something."

Having first spoken about Oliver to the Players' Tribune last year, Ramsdale hopes that not only will social attitudes become more inclusive, but that in their own time, a Premier League player will feel comfortable enough to share their sexuality in a non-judgmental environment.

"He would love to have someone, a player or staff member or whatever to come out," adds Ramsdale. "It would be amazing if we got to a place where everyone can just be relaxed and be their own self.

"I personally feel it would be a huge statement, one which I think does get overhyped a little bit, which is maybe why someone hasn't come out."

In the meantime, Ramsdale has huge respect for Oliver, and is proud to have him as a brother.

"I love him, so I think the time we spend together is priceless," he adds. "I admire him and the way he speaks, the way he is around people, the way he fights for what he thinks is right, what he believes in. He doesn't let anything stop him. I definitely do admire him."

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